All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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