i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
