guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
