I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
