my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize