Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
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