That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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