I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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