3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i out mim tonsoeep
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
