I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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