So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
