I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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