At least make sure they are 18
Why
you traded sex for a burrito?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
