She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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