I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize