My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
