i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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