so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize