when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
