and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
