Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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