Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
