I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
