dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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