yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
