Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
