I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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