:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
