Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
