just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
