i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
