im six kinds of drunk right now
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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