i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
