My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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