I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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