Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes

(847): View more from Illinois

And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.

(319): View more from Iowa

At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.

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(319): True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes (847): And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me. (319): At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements. http://tfl.nu/k3x0

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(810): View more from Michigan

so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy

(734): View more from Michigan

what about the blowjobs for adderall?

(810): View more from Michigan

no those are still okay

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(810): so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy (734): what about the blowjobs for adderall? (810): no those are still okay http://tfl.nu/913b

Replies (12) Good night (4022) Bad night (572)
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(520): View more from Arizona

I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

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(520): I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie http://tfl.nu/225r

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(661): View more from California

i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..

(951): View more from California

u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!

(661): View more from California

i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u

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(661): i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break.. (951): u hav a 3 hour lunch break?! (661): i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u http://tfl.nu/1ary

Replies (40) Good night (7933) Bad night (678)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

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(403): I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now http://tfl.nu/plpv

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(646): View more from New York

He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.

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(646): He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/8o9v

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(614): View more from Ohio

Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.

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(614): Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween. http://tfl.nu/cwdu

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.

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(610): hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level. http://tfl.nu/1yzt

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(626): View more from California

I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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(626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0

Replies (2) Good night (1080) Bad night (425)
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(515): View more from Iowa

We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?

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(515): We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences? http://tfl.nu/xlpv

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(315): View more from New York

That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?

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(315): That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad? http://tfl.nu/bcm2

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...

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(307): I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will... http://tfl.nu/d1km

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(512): View more from Texas

You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.

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(512): You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits. http://tfl.nu/ddql

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(518): View more from New York

I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..

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(518): I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls.. http://tfl.nu/o5go

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(614): View more from Ohio

she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do

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(614): she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do http://tfl.nu/lofb

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