mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
whose ass print is on the piano?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.