she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
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Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him