Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.