Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
