I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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