Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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