he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
