I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
