Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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