I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We are two peas in an std pod
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
