just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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