Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
