I'm eating all of the evidence.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
