Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
