I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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