you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
