And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sorry my hands just texted you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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