U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
