Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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