I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
