Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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