I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
