i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
