She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I could fuck to npr.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
