Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
