she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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