Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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