he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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